So today i took the plunge and gave my resignation for my job. (actually it was yesterday - i'm staying up a bit late)
Its a wierd feeling, because its not like there was anything bad about what I was doing or where I was working. In fact it was a job that was giving me some great opportunities and training and even the possibility of travelling overseas.  and I was doing work that I generally enjoyed....well maybe not all of it, but still it was interesting, but yeh maybe a little frustrating at times.
...Its just, i could feel it inside me, something... it was something inside me that was eating me up.
It just did not feel right.
I actually had a breaktrhough. (Breakthrough is code for having an emotional....well i wont say it but yeh a few tears were shed)
My first breakthrough was about a week ago on sunday, and i just lost it.
The shit just builds up and has to come out.
Its kinda hard to explain, as I've never really felt like this before.
 
Anwyays taking the advise of my partner (she has been soo soo soo supportive of me and I am so grateful to have her in my life), i took a sickie on monday.
Now for me to take a sick day is something - i have NEVER had a sick day, I am NEVER sick, in over 2 years of full time work and around 3 years of part time/casual work - I had never had a sick day! and i was very proud of that. it was my little thing i could say. it gave me something to say that I am reliable and always available... or something to that matter.
But I was NOT sick, however, mentally, i had to sort myself out.
yeah i _could_ have gone to work on monday, and could have got through doing it, but i needed to uncover my reasons of emotions and feelings that had been exposed on sunday.
It was only the beginning.

Was i wrong to take a monday off. i do feel a little guilty.  It took ALOT for my partner to make me listen to her. I think i did the right thing - she knows exactly what i was going through, even though i didnt.

So the perscription was to take the day off and chill out - go to the beach.
The reason - i actually planned to goto the beach on sunday, but i dint follow through,
I knew that I needed to go, My heart, my mind was telling me - ROB YOU NEED TO CLEAR YOU HEAD! you need to take some timeout. go do something fun!
but alas, i failed to go, and it hit me hard that day (Sunday) - like a ton of bricks being smashed down.
I was like a little girl, thats how I felt. I was an emotional wreck. Its very hard to say.
But this day has changed my life.
I dont remember all the specifics about what happend on Sunday, but my partner was so supportive to me.
I love her so much for everything she has done.

And out of the blue, on Sunday afternoon, my parents popped in (now my parents never just pop in) it was kinda freeky wierd..... it was like the universe had told them to come, that I needed them to be there, that I needed some guideance.
and I am so glad they did, because they are just such loving and caring people.
We all had a big discussion, and everyone was very supportive of me, telling me to basically follow my heart.


and i did....

lets see where the journey takes me.
this is only the beginning.


I will post some more stuff about the Monday too, but its getting late and i should hit the zzz as I still have a month of being in a job (8:30-5:30 yuk) lol.
wtf am i going to do? what have i done? am i crazy!>?? maybe...

but...
-Follow your heart and trust the process.